Time Flies...Are we having fun yet?

It has been almost 3 years since my last post? Where has the time gone? Updating the kids bios made me realize over half of Adam's life has passed since I wrote a post. Why? I'm guessing it is because I returned to work in 2010 and life has been more than crazy since. In between making 3 sets of lunches, drop off at school, work all day, pick up after school and take the kids to any number of places; at the end of the day, I am tired, beyond exhausted, and thankful to have all of if it to do again the next day.

Kids summer of 2010

Kids winter 2013 I will do my best to keep you up on our enjoyable journey, Rachel

This is getting really old....

I recently found myself saying this phrase regarding something that my children were doing that to me was truly getting really old. After that "moment" was over I realized that there are a lot of things that get really old, but many things that will never get old. But like irritations, these things too will soon be gone.

One of my favorite things is looking in my rear view mirror and seeing Adam relaxing in his carseat with his little arms behind his head. It looks so cute and to me, that look will never get old. But one day, he'll move out of the carseat and most likely will not have that look much longer.

When Luke was younger he could not say some of his letters, including his L's, K's, G's, etc. Poor guy called himself "woot" And Kix cereal...that came out interesting (I think his Dad still sort of wishes he said it that way came out with a T sound!) To Jeremy, that never got old! It did get old for him to explain what he meant and to see his frustration, that got.really.old! But now that he can speak correctly, all that is left is a sweet memory of my sweet "Wootie" working so hard to speak correctly.

Diapers & potty-training!! Those got really old. Emma embraced the diapers for a Hagan family record of 3 1/2 years. But like the diapers, those are just a memory. Now that we have 3 (almost) accomplished diaper free children, I cannot believe that what once got really old, really did happen. I truly never thought the day would come and that I would have one of those kids in Kindergarten in diapers going against all of the encouragement I received from other potty-training graduates saying, "You've never seen a kid go to Kindergarten in diapers!" I was pretty sure I would.

What is the point of all of this recalling and trip down memory lane? I used to get so very tired of hearing well meaning people say that time will go by so fast, enjoy the moments, to me I heard...blah blah blah. When in the thick of it, that did not help much. When my cycle with little variation of: wake, breakfast, clean up breakfast, change 3 sets of clothes a diaper here and there, make a snack, clean up snack, break up a fight, make lunch...oh wait, wipe someone's bottom (who let's face it cannot do it near as well by themselves), finish making lunch, strong arm some children to nap, clean up lunch, make snack, clean up snack, break up another fight, make some sort of a memory, DINNER? Ah...what's for dinner, read a book, wipe another...well you know, change a diaper that should've been changed hours ago because it is now hanging between the knees, serve dinner, give baths, read books, pray with my children, and get them to bed. All to just repeat in some sort of pattern again the next day. Honestly, why would I miss that? Ok, so maybe I do miss some of it. Because of who they were at that moment, on those days, when it was just us. I do miss that and sometimes long for that, especially on the days that it is just me.

What will never get old, is looking at old videos and hearing their sweet voices, realizing that their child-like faith is much more true and genuine than mine, that their forgiveness of me, one another, and themselves is exactly the way Jesus wants us all to be. THAT will never get old. This month, my Emma (and yes...my pregnancy with her got...you guessed it really old!) will turn 8 years old. I expected her to be 8 one day, so I am not one of those that cannot believe she is 8 ..but what I cannot believe is that I ever thought caring for her got old. I love being their mom, this is a great job, and even on the really stressful, going crazy types of moments...this job, to me, will never get old!

So, on the days when something is getting really old, stop and make a list of the things that will not get old and remember to...Enjoy the journey!

Rachel

Daddy's Girl

A few weeks ago, Jeremy and Emma had the opportunity to attend a Daddy/Daughter Dance at the Elementary School. Mom and the boys went out to pizza, while they enjoyed their time at the dance. Emma and Jeremy have always been close which I am so thankful for. Having a good relationship with her dad will become more and more important as she grows up and fortunately this relationship between them has been strong since the day she was born. They danced and danced at the party and enjoyed being silly together. Jeremy commented that there were only a few times when he got "ditched" by his date when she HAD to run around with her friends. But he also commented that several Dads seemed to either be engaged in conversations with others or were "ditched" more often than he was. Perhaps that will happen to Jeremy in the future, but I am glad he took advantage of the opportunity to focus on his girl on this day. When Emma came home that evening she HAD to take her hair out and get out of those shoes! The next morning at Luke's basketball game, several of the moms (who were there taking pictures for the yearbook) commented that Jeremy and Emma were so cute together and that he did such a great job paying attention to just her and was focused on her. Again, so thankful that he is her dad and that she is his little girl. What a blessed relationship that I am so excited to be a part of.


Daddy & Emma Ready for the Dance

The Hair...it took several attempts, I told Emma, "Being pretty can be hard work"


Who looks more excited?

From Baby Adam to Big Adam

It was 3 years ago on September 6 that we welcomed our third child into our family. While each child has added so much to our family in their own unique way, Adam, Little A, Cookie, Big Adam has definitely been a source of complete laughter. There is not a day that goes by that he does not make us laugh, a lot, loud and often. Looking back at all of these pictures of him from when he joined our family, I am once again in complete awe of God's creation. What a privilege it is for me to be his mom and that we get to have him in our family. Here is a few pictures of him as he has grown up.


Adam 2 days old







Adam Age 1









Adam Age 2










Adam Age 3

Learning from the Best!

We had the opportunity to travel to my hometown over the weekend. It is quite the celebration of events for the annual Red Oak Junction Days. One thing that I seem to take for granted is the simplicity of joy that comes from my kids when they visit Red Oak. They love that they get to stay in the house where my parents brought me home as a baby, walking (not driving) places, & checking out the parks in town. But at Junction Days..they absolutely love the Grand Parade.


Here the kids are at the parade with their cousins anxiously awaiting the start of the parade. One of their cousins does not appreciate the sirens on all of the firetrucks that arrive from a 60 mile radius. However, he does like the candy. Quite a conflict for a 6 year old. But we witnessed a beautiful display of love and selflessness in Luke at the start of that parade. Luke ran out and acquired just one piece of candy, stopped, looked at it, and ran it over to his cousin who was standing away from the street attempting to get away from the noise. I stood there, completely in awe of his kindness, thinking of others first personality. It was at that moment when I realized how much I could learn from Luke. And possibly how much we all can learn from Luke. When was the last time I gave to someone else first without first thinking of myself and weighing all of the factors first. The abundance of candy that all of the kids collected was quite impressive, however, from the start he did not know how much he was going to get and he was concerned that his cousin first. Someone later told me that Jeremy and I must be doing something right as parents. My response was, no, I think we were blessed with Luke to be a part of our family to teach us more how to be like Christ and and how to be better parents with the grace we see in front of us everyday.

Happy Birthday Luke!

Today our sweet Luke turns 6 years old. While I still cannot believe we have had him for 6 years, I am so very thankful for God's plan for him in our family. He has a full day of fun planned. He woke up to find his new "big" bike, followed by cinnamon rolls from a can (I know..I pull out ALL the stops), and lunch at Chick Fil A. He plans to go to a baseball game with his Dad, sister, and Uncle Josh tonight. A swim party is scheduled for tomorrow, a nice 92 degree day!

Each year when one of our children has a birthday, I am reminded of the day they came into the world. Seems like a lifetime ago, but I clearly remember a 100+ degree day in Kansas City on this same June day in 2003. I had seen my due date come and go and my sister and I were pregnant at the same time had determined that we did NOT want to speak to one another until one of us had a baby. 4 days after his due date, I began laboring at home at 7 a.m. (ironically...so did my sister..WEIRD!). Apparently things went faster than I thought and we ended up at the hospital with just 16 minutes to spare before Luke Daniel Hagan was born. What an entrance!

I still feel overwhelmed, just as I did that day when Jeremy brought our 14 month old into the room to meet her new brother. While it has gotten much much easier. I still do not lose sight on these great gifts of life we have in our three kids. I miss some of the "baby" stuff, but would not change a thing about where our life is right now. We have three kids, who on most days really do love each other, relatively healthy and I would like to believe happy as well.

Today we celebrate Luke and what you bring to our family. You teach us what it means to love and we are so thankful for the dynamic you add to this family. Happy to have a 6 year old in the house again!

Mother's Tea

Madness and Vacation?

Recently I was given the opportunity to travel with Jeremy on a trip for his work. He travel some for his job, and rarely do I have the opportunity to go with him. Some for pure lack of interest on my part as some of the locations are..how do I say it...not vacation worthy. Mostly I do not travel with him because of my own job of keeping up with a feisty 7 year old, an adoring 5 year old, and a crazy 2 year old. However this time, my mother and father in law have graciously agreed to take on my job for 5 days so Jeremy and I can get away.
This week, I am going to travel with Jeremy as he and I will hop a flight to the UK and see the sights of London and other parts of England. It has been weeks in the planning and now that I am down to my last day before I leave...its crunch time. This week alone we have had 1 doctor appointment, 1 sick day, 1 MOPS meeting where for the last time fed 50+ hungry moms, 1 field trip, 1 trip to the dentist for me (yeah, that had to be thrown in), 1 Mother's Tea Party at Kindergarten, and 1 Field Day for two excited elementary students. Phew...Oh...and I guess I should pack...scratch that..do laundry, pack, lay out clothes for the kids, write what seems like a short novel of instructions, and the list goes on and on. Actually scratch all of that! What I REALLY need to do is stop, thank God for the opportunities in my life, thank God for my children and pray for all of our safety while we are away from one another and pray for time of renewal for my somewhat weary mind. So today, I will put that at the top of my list and will have faith that all of the other stuff will work itself out.
The song that is playing in the background was given to me yesterday at MOPS, just when I needed it...because truly as much as it looks like on the outside, nobody really does have it all together.
Dear God, Protect our family, let us cast our fears and anxiety on You and trust in your wisdom and power to complete all that is Your will. Amen

Blink

There is a song (I would recommend downloading on iTunes called, Blink, by Plumb) I have attached the lyrics below. It definitely sums up what I have been thinking lately. I am certain that I have mentioned this theme over and over and over again, however, I find it to be more than true...our life really does go by in a blink of an eye. I remember when I was carrying Emma Grace on my hip and Luke in the carseat and all of the empty nest women at church would sort of look at me, tip their head to the side and smile at me and say, "Enjoy every minute of this, it goes by so fast." Certainly I knew I was crazy, afterall I was carting around two children under the age of 18 months and most likely did not shower, or brush my teeth and if I had make up on at all, it was from the day or two before that had not worn off on my pillow that I did not seem to visit near enough. But in all honesty, I thought, THOSE ladies are crazy....who could enjoy all of this chaos? What on earth were Jeremy and I going to do with these little babies? We had only been married for 5 years and here we had two kids. But now that we are nearly 6 years from that time of the comments from the nice ladies at church....I am realizing, WOW...those women were right. I would like to think that I did enjoy them and would like to believe that they enjoyed me as well, but in all honesty, probably both were not true. I know I was not the best mom on many of those sleep deprived days. Now looking back, I would not change a thing about the life that was chosen for us and our family. Here are a few pictures of our big kids with a few flashbacks of when it seems like just a blink ago. No longer in a crib, (and hopefully soon I will be able to report no longer in diapers), making friends and enjoying life. While I believe that life does go by in a Blink as the lyrics suggest, I want to make sure that my eyes are wide open to enjoy each step!

I'd like to remember
I'd like to know all you are
I'd like to know everything you'll be
Where will you go? What will you do?
When the world's right in front of you

When I think of how slowly life passes by
Then I'll blink and you're growing
No longer a child
What I can do, to capture this moment in time
Is to sing you a lullaby

I like to watch you dream
I like to touch your face
[ Plumb Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
I like to hold you in a sweet embrace
When will you laugh? When will you cry?
When you need a special place to hide

When I think of how slowly life passes by
Then I'll blink and you're growing
No longer a child
What I can do, to capture this moment in time
Is to sing you a lullaby

When I think of how slowly life passes by
Then I'll blink and you're growing
No longer a child
What I can do, to capture this moment in time
Is to sing you a lullaby

All American Girl

Emma turned 7 on March 29. To main celebration of her birthday, I took her to Chicago for her first official, "Girls Weekend". Our biggest attraction was the American Girl Place downtown Chicago. We flew on Friday afternoon, took the train downtown, she experienced her first taxi ride, and spent the entire afternoon looking at books, dolls, and having the real American Girl Place experience. It was such a treat for me to be able to spend time with just her. No distractions of things to do around the house, no little brothers to take up our time; just mom and Emma. I realize that one on one time with a child is very important and not all one on one moments need to take place in another city or at the American Girl store, but it was during this weekend that I realized that I have not had this much time with just her since her first year of life. While that time in her life was very important to me and am certain it will be to her one day too, those memories are foggy to say the least. The first 3 months of her life I spent in a state of "what do I do NOW?" and soon after that I was back in the throws of a first trimester of pregnancy and all the glory that brought along with it and being pregnant and having a baby to take care of. Its sort of sad, and sometimes its hard to admit, I may have not really "enjoyed" her first year of life as much as I would have liked. But do not discount that comment is anything but loving her since the minute I found out I would be having a baby. I often get emotional thinking about that time in our life as we prepared of the arrival and I love remembering everything about the day she was born. It is astonishing that it has been 7 years ago! Back to our weekend. I have to say, that I had her get her picture taken in the photo studio and they put the picture on the front of an American Girl magazine. So for an extra $5 I could have her picture appear on the Celebration Screen, this huge tv screen and it had her picture on it with her name, etc. Right there, that was worth the price of admission! She was so cute and so appreciative of her day that several times throughout the day she would stop and give me a kiss or a hug and just say 'Thank You' without being prompted. She stopped and said, "Oh mom, this has been the greatest day of my whole life" Granted, its only been 7 years, but I was more than blessed to be part of it! To spend a day with a 7 year old and to really spend the time seeing things through her eyes might just rank right up there as one of the greatest days of my life too! Enjoy some pictures of our trip and videos of the sweetest baby girl at our house!

Weekends Gone By

We have not had a lot of snow this winter and actually have not had one snow day from school this year. Over the weekend, we had a good sized snow storm which resulted in a lot of fun outside play for the kids. Of course the 20 minutes it took to get the kids dressed appropriately lasted about 5 minutes with Adam. He was back inside, had lost his gloves, and had pooped. That's a lot going on for 5 minutes. So I undressed him, put his wet snow clothes in the dryer, changed his diaper, re-dressed him and stressed the importance of KEEPING THE GLOVES ON...and he was out for another 30-40 minutes, while I shoveled the driveway.

I have also acquired a new appliance that I have been dreaming about for over 11 years. I have always wanted a Kitchen Aid stand mixer. And I got a great deal on one a few weeks ago and let me tell you, this machine is fantastic! Definitely worth the wait. I will struggle with becoming a glutton, but will certainly perform some miraculous things in the kitchen in the process. Yesterday I made cinnamon rolls and was reminded of Sunday afternoons over 25 years ago when I would walk down to my grandma Killion's house after she would phone us saying, "I've just made a batch of cinnamon rolls, they are sort of a flop, but tell the girls to come over and try them." If her rolls were a "flop" of sorts, the memory of them were anything but a flop. Its funny how memories will flood back over your mind when something that seems so typical and ordinary reminds us of something special and extraordinary. Seeing my kids, oooh and ahhh over these cinnamon rolls, I saw myself and my sisters and cousin, ooohing and ahhhing over them many years ago. Here is to unexpected great memories that I had the privilege of enjoying this weekend.

Valentine Memories

We enjoyed a great Valentine's Day this year. The kids parties were on Tuesday the 10th, as they were out of school for the rest of the week. When the older kids were in preschool, we started making homemade Valentine's. I feel now that I have started something that turns into a bit more of a "project" than necessary, especially now that we have 20+ in each of their classes. But thanks to Family Fun, we had yet another successful craft for their Valentine's parties. On Saturday night of Valentine's Day we had dinner at home. The kids had heart shaped pizza and Jeremy and I had a nice surf and turf combination. It was delicious and no one complained about dinner! We had all written letters to one another to be shared at dinner. Adam scribbled on paper for everyone, Luke drew pictures and had a few words on his cards for his family, Emma spent about 2 or more hours for everyone's. But it was fun to see their reactions to hearing all of the nice things everyone had to say about them. Definitely a tradition we will continue with each year. I plan to keep all of the letters in a scrapbook for everyone to have from year to year. I have a feeling that these letters will be very important to all of us as the years go on.

Vision vs. Sight

Recently I had the opportunity to attend an exhibit at Union Station called Dialog in the Dark. It is an experience where for over an hour you are completely blind and exploring the world as it would be if you were visually impaired. The best part was the guides were all blind as well. It was an amazing experience. As I was walking in there was a phrase on the wall that said, "I would rather walk through the dark with a friend, than in the light alone" (Helen Keller). For one hour I experienced complete and total darkness and had to trust my other 4 senses and completely trust either those around me or my guide whom I had met 2 minutes prior. Taking away my sight truly taught me a lot about vision. I could visualize in my mind what I "thought" it was going to be around the corner and several times I would run into the wall, or another person. But my faithful guide would say, "come toward my voice" or "here, let me help you", "no, go this way". I completely trusted Shelly to get me where I needed to go. And one of my more frightening experiences was when we were walking in what seemed to be outside and having to cross the street. While I knew the cars would not run me over, I knew it was only pretend...I gained a vision of true fear of the unknown and still do not know if I ever did cross the street or not, I thought I was turning in circles!
Being a mom is a similar experience. We think we can see what is coming ahead, however, often times we find ourselves running into a wall, and feeling completely lost and in the dark around each corner. However, walking through motherhood does not have to be completely in the dark. We all have access to light and to vision through our Savior Jesus Christ. We do not have to walk through the world alone and we can turn to him in times of need and more than anything to give him praise for the many blessings we posess on this earth. He is there calling out to us, "hear my voice" and "let me help you" or "no, this way."
I am filled with several sights around me each and everyday. The sight of my three children, Emma age 6, Luke age 5, and Adam, age 2 and my husband of 10 1/2 years, Jeremy. The sight of seeing my daughter's eyes light up when her Daddy took her on a date this weekend, the sight of my 2 year old when his brother and sister come running out of school each day. Or the sight of our family spending time together, even if it is around a less than desirable meal at our kitchen table. Sights I pray I will not soon forget.
For my vision....I have a lot of them...the way it "should" be, the way I "want" it to be, and the way I thought it "would" be as a mother. Those ways mean absolutely nothing if it does not fall within the vision of our loving Lord; I am just a participant as I was in the exhibit this weekend. On the days when I feel as though I am walking in total darkness and not knowing what is around the corner, next week, next month, next year; I too would rather "walk in the dark with a friend, than walk in the light alone" I am thankful for my dear friends from MOPS, childhood, college, my kids school; for the support of our families, and more than anything the opportunity to walk alongside Jesus and learn each and everyday to trust Him to be my sight and my vision.

Give me the Fairy Tale

Recently Emma had to complete a fairy tale book report. While her only requirements were that it had to be one that was not "typical". She wanted one they had not talked about in class or had not heard any of the other students visiting about it at lunch or recess. Since her project was due first, she truly did have lots of choices. We decided on The Three Billy Goats Gruff. Funny little story about three goats facing a giant of sorts just attempting to get to better food across the bridge. Sort of warped in a way, as they all three sort of threw each other under the bus, the youngest one told the troll to eat the middle one, and the middle one told the troll to eat the oldest one and the oldest one, he took care of the troll and they all ended up getting to the other side. What is interesting is sometimes I feel that story has valid application to our family. My husband works very hard for our family and will continue to do so, but there are times when perhaps it is left to him to fight off the trolls of the world just so he too can get to the other side. There are always going to be struggles in our lives and in our current economic situation the chances of that going on will be the case. But one thing that I may have added to the Billy Goats Gruff fairy tale are the younger goats thanking the oldest for taking care of them and perhaps an apology for throwing him under the bus!

The Little Chefs

We had an extra two days of Winter vacation than most in our area, so we made the most of it and had a double playdate on Monday. Emma met a friend in her class this year, Peyton, and she has a little brother that is also in Kindergarten. While Cole and Luke are not in the same class, both families have children 14 months apart with the girls as the oldest and the boys as the youngest. How fun is that? When I first found out that I would be having Luke, I naively thought that I was the only one outside of teenagers that had an unexpected pregnancy. Funny thing is, I have met more and more people that have either on purpose or otherwise had their children less than or just over a year apart. Well it couldn't have been more fun to have a family at our school with kids the same age for the creation of a great playdate. Peyton and Cole came over in the morning and the "little chefs" created masterpiece pizzas for lunch. Then all 4 kids went to spend the afternoon at their house. While Adam napped, I enjoyed a quiet house! Enjoy the pictures and Happy New Year 2009!

Its not always the way we expect...

Lyrics below from Andrew Peterson's Behold The Lamb of God..
It was not a silent night
There was blood on the ground
You could hear a woman cry
In the alleyways that night
On the streets of David's town

And the stable was not clean
And the cobblestones were cold
And little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
Had no mother's hand to hold

It was a labor of pain
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love

Noble Joseph at her side
Callused hands and weary eyes
There were no midwives to be found
In the streets of David's town
In the middle of the night

So he held her and he prayed
Shafts of moonlight on his face
But the baby in her womb
He was the maker of the moon
He was the Author of the faith
That could make the mountains move

It was a labor of pain
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love
For little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
It was a labor of love

We usually intend to go into the holiday season with a great attitude and that everything will go just the way WE want (cooperative kids, gift items found with ease..preferably on sale :), and just a general sense of the way it 'ought' to be). However, even the best laid plans usually do not turn out the way we plan. However, God's plan is the greatest plan of all through the life of His son Jesus which is the reason as we should not forget what all of this Christmas is and should be about. If nothing else gets done, Jesus was still born, we still celebrate HIS birthday and all of the other 'stuff' is just that...stuff. I am not saying that I didn't purchase, wrap, ship the gifts, I'll make the dinner, and most of all, I will see joy in the eyes of my children which will make all of the "work" worth it. Just as Mary did not expect to have her baby in a manger, in the end, it was all worth the labor of love to be able to hold the maker of the moon and the author of the faith. And for that reason, we'll do it all again, year after year, celebrating the greatest story ever told and perhaps seeing just a glimpse of the joy that must've been felt that night that changed our lives forever.

Santa, God, & Christmas

Most people when they think of Santa do not think of God in the same thought. I will admit, I usually did not either. However, this morning, I have really been able to put them all together. We went to visit Santa on Friday night at Crown Center, downtown Kansas City. We waited in a line that seemed to take forever, and I sat in amazement at the people in front of us, who had a 2 week old baby with them. Seriously people, he is NOT going to remember visiting Santa. After our long line experience, the kids had their chance to sit on Santa's lap. Adam hopped right up there and gave a nice Hello, and the kids began to answer his questions, of what do you want Santa to bring you for Christmas? Emma mentioned her desire for a set of walkie talkies, and Luke mentioned his love for a robot (that he has seen at Bed Bath & Beyond) Adam could not quite answer the question. Hmmmm, back to the robot. Yeah, its $70 and it may not arrive on Christmas morning, I have this feeling that Santa has other plans for our family on the anticipated Christmas morning. When the conversation was brought up yet again this morning, it dawned on me...there are times when we ask God for things in prayer and they just do not happen the way WE would like, His plan is something different for our family. I attempted to explain that even if Santa does not bring the items that we ask for, he is still good, just like God is good, even when he does not answer our prayers the way we want. It pretty much fell on deaf ears and it was more of a pass the Cheerios moment, but hopefully we'll have an opportunity to explore this topic more throughout the week. And I have this feeling that Santa will deliver this week and that our wishes and desires will be fulfilled.....maybe not the way we planned.

How will I "Add to the Beauty"?

Below are lyrics from Sara Groves "Add to the Beauty"
We come with beautiful secrets
We come with purposes written on our hearts, written on our souls
We come to every new morning
With possibilities only we can hold, that only we can hold

Redemption comes in strange place, small spaces
Calling out the best of who we are

And I want to add to the beauty
To tell a better story
I want to shine with the light
That's burning up inside

It comes in small inspirations
It brings redemption to life and work
To our lives and our work

It comes in loving community
It comes in helping a soul find it's worth

Redemption comes in strange places, small spaces
Calling out the best of who we are

And I want to add to the beauty
To tell a better story
I want to shine with the light
That's burning up inside

This is grace, an invitation to be beautiful
This is grace, an invitation

Redemption comes in strange places, small spaces
Calling out our best

And I want to add to the beauty
To tell a better story
I want to shine with the light
That's burning up inside

We have found ourselves full of the "busy" of the Christmas season. I am hoping to "Add to the Beauty" this Chrismas season within our family. I, like many, have found myself caught up in the consumerism of Christmas; managing check lists, purchasing gifts for family members, and finding the time to hide the gifts, only to get them out and wrap them up after the kids go to bed. I so want to hear my kids say, " I love Christmas, because that is when we celebrate the birth of our Savior." However, today, I heard, " I just love Christmas, because that is when we get presents!" Hmmm, we have some work to do that has nothing to do with how much money I spend on a gift for someone, what is on their list, etc., it has everything to do with the shaping of their hearts. We are making some progress though, after I found Luke counting the number of gifts he had under the tree and measuring the size of the boxes, I asked him how many gifts Jesus received when he was born. He thought and eventually came up with the right answer, whichw as 3. Then I followed up the question with "how many gifts do you think we deserve for Christmas?" His answer was a quick, "None." While he is probably right, it lead me to explain that no matter what we have wrapped up for us in a pretty package, it is more than we deserve and that no matter what, the birth of Jesus is the most important gift we all have received. My goal is to have all of my shopping and wrapping done by Thursday, the 18th. The kids are out of school from the 19th through the 7th of January. I want to enjoy this Advent season with them and for them to stop, enjoy and appreciate all the Christmas season has to offer.

Mean Girls....

I was never a big fan of the mean girls when I was growing up and distinctly remember the uncomfortable feeling when the mean girls were mean to someone at school; even if I wasn't friends with them. Now that I am a mother, I want to make sure that my daughter does not become a mean girl and is always a good friend. One thing about Emma is that she is a talker and she will tell me anything. I desperately want to protect this relationship and the trust we have with one another so that when situations get harder as she is growing up, she will always feel comfortable coming to talk to me. Growing up, I would often talk to my sisters and because Emma is the only girl in our family, I want her to be able to talk to me, not that I want to be her sister, but I want her to trust me. Today after school, Emma told me that there was a girl at school who was or in her words...is always...mean to her. Of course my first instinct was to fight...I can take down that 6 year old..you just watch me! Then I flashed back toward reality and asked Emma what the circumstances were and what she thought she should do about it. Her response was great, she told me of several instances of altercations with this child and trust me, Emma is not always innocent of all crimes as we see daily here at home. But in this case it was regarding whether or not Emma was lying or cheating at school. She said she didn't get too upset, because she knew it was not true. How great is that? I would like to have that response to most things in my life. If someone says something about me that I know is not true, God knows the truth and that is all that atters. Emma agreed that she would keep her interaction with this girl to a minimum and then she would not have a reason to be mean to her and after all of the conversation was done, she said, "Mom, is it ok, if we keep this just between us?" Again, I hope she always comes to me with situations and I pray that she continues to keep her eyes on God and trust that He has the truth. How I wish this was the last of the mean girl episodes...but fear they may just be starting. Ugh..she's only 6!

A feeling I hope I never forget

I just went to pick up Adam out of his crib after his nap. I absolutely love the warm cuddles that he gives me after he wakes up and his cheeks are all red and warm from being all snuggly with his "blank" and "beebee" (leave me alone...I have NOT gotten rid of the pacifier yet, the other two did not use one or suck a thumb, so I figure if you average it all out...its not THAT long). Everytime, he so excited to see me. I think it is because he likes me, but it could possibly be that he cannot (at least that he knows) get out of his crib yet. He is already changing so much and is starting to "smell" like a kid, and a boy kid at that, and has lost that sweet baby smell. But more than anything he does not like to be held for very long anymore. Ugh, really, already? I am NOT a touchy feely person...at all! I remember when Emma was just over one and Luke was born, I literally was touched and holding someone all day long and I mean all day long.....nights too! It was enough to make me crawl out of my skin. But now, Emma & Luke do not need to be held much if at all anymore and I sort of miss it. That squishy baby skin, fat thighs and delicious cheeks are beginning to slim down. I do love where we are right now, but I do miss some of the past, probably because at the time, I did not cherish the moment. So when Adam comes running to me with his arms in the air, begging, and pleading to be picked up; I will most likely do it. I do not remember when it happened but I can promise that Emma & Luke do not do that anymore....and it won't be long before Little A won't either.